By Ethan Brooker

“Bar Napkin Sonnet #11”

Things happen when you drink too much mescal.
One night, with not enough food in my belly,
he kept on buying.   I’m a girl who’ll fall
damn near in love with gratitude and, well, he
was hot and generous and so the least
that I could do was let him kiss me, hard
and soft and any way you want it, beast
and beauty, lime and salt—sweet Bacchus’ pards—
and when his friend showed up I felt so warm
and generous I let him kiss me too.
His buddy asked me if it was the worm
inside that makes me do the things I do.
I wasn’t sure which worm he meant, the one
I ate?   The one that eats at me alone?

— Moira Egan

While searching through various sonnets and poems I came across Bar Napkin Sonnets, which is a sonnet sequence by Moira Egan that explores the sexual wants and desires a woman faces at the bar. While reading through her sonnet sequence I found “Bar Napkin Sonnet #11″and was intrigued. During this sonnet, Egan provides us with a fresh take on Shakespearean sonnet form, while using figurative language and symbolism to explore the struggles, or maybe the adventures, faced by the women at the bar. I  believe the reason I was so intrigued by “Bar Napkin Sonnet #11″was due to this intense relationship Egan is describing to us. I feel that she really brings this to life through her use of symbolism as we “worm” through the sonnet.

Throughout “Bar Napkin Sonnet #11,” Egan takes us through the interactions and relationships she has formed with the man at the bar. In this newly formed relationship, we are exposed to two of the main themes of the sonnet which I believe are desire and intoxication. The theme of love and intoxication I feel are intertwined with each other. Based on the descriptions that Egan provides us with we know that there is a strong correlation between the alcohol she consumes and the sexual tension that is building. At the beginning of the Sonnet, Egan gives us some insight on how the night is going by expressing to us the gratitude that she has for the man, especially when she is getting free drinks out of it. As the poem goes on, we are introduced to the sexual tension that is building. I think this is clearly stated in the second quatrain when she states, “hard and soft and any way you want it beast”. I think this is one of the most notable instances in the sonnet that help illustrate the theme of sex. Egan’s insights help depict the tension building between her and the man throughout the night.

Egan uses various symbols and figurative language, throughout her sonnet to help express the themes of intoxication and desire. The use of these symbols and figurative language we are provided with have a significant impact on the overall meaning of the sonnet. I believe that the use of these comes into play in the second quatrain when she states “beast/ and beauty, lime and salt—sweet Bacchus’ pards”. When Egan states “beast/ and beauty” she is directly referencing the new tensions between the two. The beast referring to the masculinity of the man at the bar, and the beauty referring to the delicateness of the woman. The imagery that comes to mind when I hear this line alludes to the love introduced in Beauty and the Beast. I think that this is referencing a third theme of internal conflict that the woman may be facing in the sonnet. This may be referencing a “fantasy” love that the woman is desiring. As we know of her sexual desires, I believe that she may also be in search of true love, even if it comes from someone that resembles that of a “beast”.

More importantly, I think that Egan emphasizes “sweet Bacchus’ pards” in order to help provide context and make it stand out from the rest of the poem. The reference that she is making is towards Bacchus who is the god of intoxication in Hellenic culture, and who resembles epiphanies and ecstasy in Greek culture. This I believe is her way of referencing her level of intoxication and her sense of love and desire. This idea is introduced in John Keats, “Ode to a Nightingale” as he states “Away! Away! For I will fly for thee, / Not charioted by Bacchus and his pards, / But on the viewless wings of Poesy.” This is an interesting connection, as I believe she is referring to the myth of Bacchus and Ariadne, as this relates to that of the relationship between the woman and the man. In this story, Ariadne is left deserted on an island when Bacchus comes upon her, and the two fall into an instantaneous love. I find this to be an incredible reference as I feel it is depicting the relationship that has almost in a sense, instantaneously formed between the man and the woman. I believe that in a sense she feels as if she is Ariadne, and is charmed by the man Bacchus. This section does a tremendous job reinforcing the tension building between the two, without blatantly stating it. The use of symbolism and figurative language in the second quatrain helps to provide context and reemphasize the relationship that is forming between the two. I believe that the use of these symbols and references are important, and also help set up the most significant symbol in the sonnet, the worm.

We are introduced to the worm towards the end of the sonnet as the level of intoxication and sexual tension is at its climax. At first glance, I believed that the worm Egan was referencing might have something to do with the mescal she had been drinking, as the mescal worm traditionally added for flavor. Or maybe the worm that Egan is referencing represents that of the male genitals. I believe this may be true due to the increasing sexual tension between the two throughout the sonnet. However, I believe that there is a deeper meaning behind the worm. Egan describes the confusion associated with the worm: “I wasn’t sure which worm he meant, the one / I ate? The one that eats at me alone?” I believe that this creates a deeper meaning for what the worm represents. I think that this specifically is referring to the internal conflict present in the sonnet. These two lines make us reflect on her actions and create the question of what exactly is eating away at her? I believe that the worm may represent the struggles that she is facing in her life, and maybe this is the reason she is at the bar in the first place. The “worm” is in a sense is the reason she is at the bar and seems to be controlling her actions. I believe that her actions at the bar may be her way of coping with the “worm.”

Egan unpacks her symbolism of the worm and her other uses of figurative language through the traditional Shakespearean sonnet form. By using this specific sonnet form Egan can create a rhyme scheme and form that helps to create connections between the lines, while also helping separate the different ideas and aspects of the poem. The first quatrain of the sonnet follows the rhyme scheme of a b a b. The first quatrain states, “Things happen when you drink too much mescal. / One night, with not enough food in my belly, / he kept on buying.  / I’m a girl who’ll fall/damn near in love with gratitude and, well, he.” We can see how Egan has used the sonnet form to create the rhyme scheme between the words at the end of each line. In the first quatrain, Egan is hinting toward issues and struggles that occur when you go to the bar and let a man buy you drinks. I found the first line to be striking because before we even know of anything that happens in the sonnet, we are informed of the ill judgment that can occur due to alcohol. This helps emphasize the theme of intoxication and love.

The second quatrain also follows the rhyme scheme and format introduced in the Shakespearean sonnet form, which follows the rhyme scheme of CDCD. The second quatrain states, “was hot and generous and so the least / that I could do was let him kiss me, hard / and soft and anyway you want it, beast / and beauty, lime and salt—sweet Bacchus’ pards—.” This is very similar to the relationship between the words and lines introduced in the first quatrain. The ideas that Egan introduces to us go more in-depth on the relationship between her and the man at the bar. By including the reference towards the “beast and beauty” and “sweet Bacchus’ pards,” we now learn that she is beginning to have a feeling for the man and is even hinting toward a sexual tension building between the two.

I believe Egan uses the first two quatrains to depict the feelings that she is having for the man who is buying her drinks, but I believe the shift in the third quatrain may be a realization that she is having. When she states, “and when his friend showed up, I felt so warm / and generous I let him kiss me too.” I think that she is referencing her feeling of warmth to her level of intoxication. Also, when she says she kissed him too that shows us the insignificance of the new relationship she has formed with the first man. This is particularly important because in the second quatrain she believes that she and the man are like beast and beauty or even lime and salt. Now in the third quatrain, she is saying that maybe their relationship is not that way, and maybe it is the alcohol. We are also now introduced to the worm which in a direct interpretation represents the actual worm added to mescal, or it is referring to the sexual tension that has been building between the two.

The couplet at the end of the sonnet makes us question what exactly the worm is referring to. I believe that the author is providing a sense of realization. Is it the alcohol making these decisions? Is it sexual tension between the two? Or is it the internal issues that she is facing that are eating away at her? I feel that the couplet brings together the ideas introduced in the three quatrains. The couplet makes us reflect on what the author has told us. Egan also uses the words “one” and ‘alone” in her couplet to in a sense connect to how the woman truly feels. This in a sense connects the relationship between the themes of desire and the internal conflicts the woman is feeling. 

Throughout the sonnet, I found the relationship between the form and the content to be particularly interesting. Egan was able to provide us with the main ideas of the poem, but it is the form that helps to provide us with context for what she is saying. She uses the aspect of symbolism throughout the sonnet which helps give her lines emphasis and meaning. The form of the sonnet allows for various interpretations and meanings for the symbols and interactions. I believe these aspects are important because it highlights the feelings that we may face and the influence that alcohol has on our decisions. I particularly enjoyed the references she makes in the second quatrain and the emphasis she puts on the worm towards the end of the sonnet. I think this sonnet does a tremendous job emphasizing the content through its form.